That Coffee Girl

Today was spectacularly beautiful. I gave the last of my term 2 exams yesterday. With a couple of assignments to go, I am officially done with 20% of my MBA. Time seems to be a blur. I don't know when one day ends and the next one begins. We are still in the pandemic of COVID and the hours I spend alone in my room with my laptop are copious and probably self-destructive but cannot be helped. The excitement of MBA seems to be dulling, workload increasing along with self-doubt.  A necessary side-effect of being surrounded by overachievers is being constantly overwhelmed. Initially exciting like a shot of dopamine but over time the effect wears off and it turns out, your strain of dopamine is no longer manufactured. But not to worry. Excitement is right around the corner, you see. We may be headed to campus soon. I won't say I hope so, because hoping for anything currently is like setting yourself up for heartbreak. When you say it can't get worse, it actually does. Looks like

Do you know who I am? You know my name Can you see beyond my face? You have heard of me, Based your judgement on kiss and tell.  I don't know you, you see I don't even know your name.  Is that why you are jealous? It's rightfully mine, that fame.  Is it something you want? For I can trade... A kiss for a kiss Fame for a friend.                                                                 -PS

Children near trashcans jumping in joy, You see them playing, Do you see the hunger in their eyes? A woman on the street Walking fast at night, Was she out partying or working How is either of the two an invite? There is fear in every corner Suppression in shadows Filth on the road, Careless storms behind closed doors. Not for you though, You only saw what you wanted to see - The world as it should be. - PS

Most of the time we lose perspective, or at least that's my perspective. Call it recency bias or something else, I am sure towards the year end what I would be feeling would be a lot different thn where I am now. So, here I am, documenting my ISB journey that has already begun at home.  MBA online?  - I did not sign up for this.  Is it any good? - Absolutely not.  Let's not kid ourselves into thinking that just because it is online and we are home, the task is easier for us. It clearly isn't. Imagine logging onto zoom 24 hours a day. Imagine your interaction being limited to zoom calls. Imagine a 16 hour screen time. (My laptop is new but I swear to god I feel like throwing it atleast 3 times a day!) We have one class a day, and if you think about it, that isn't too bad. But add to that 3 pre-reads, 2 pre-class videos, a quiz, 2 assignments and exams every 2 weeks. Effectively you get a weekend after every 12 days.  I have one word - Draining. 

What was that feeling I felt when I was young, That moment I returned from school Eating food watching cartoons? What was that I felt the first day of summer vacations; Planning the endless long days filled with friends and games? Even though it's long gone,  Traces still linger... They surfaced when I got my acceptance and when I put in my resignation. If I had to tell you what I felt, I could sum it up in a word. The word is joy and the feeling is surreal.  About this poem: I got my acceptance to b-school. This is somewhat a throwback to November'19 when I finally got the news. It was this feeling, like being on the top of the world, like nothing could bring me down. That feeling, that moment, that's is what I want to hold on to. I think in the past few years, joy became something unapproachable. That childlike feeling on a summer day with rasna and Maggi, happiness became something to plan and work towards. I could ch

Hello people, how have you been? A little bit lonely or sometimes bored or just losing your mind like me? I see you. Even you, the ones crippled by fear, unable to leave their beds. I get you. So, COVID-19 happened and, turns out life is NOT as we know it. Everything changed and the all we can do is cope up. I keep seeing so many posts and blogs telling people that it is okay to be unproductive. There is a pandemic happening. There doesn't essentially have to be a bright side to it. I agree with them, somewhat. It's more of a "you do you" situation. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I graduated from college in May 2016, and within a week I started my new job. It's been about 4 years and I have never been free. I moved from one job to the other, there was even a time when I gave myself a break for 2 months, but only on paper. In reality, that break had me preparing for an exam and interviewing for my next job. So no free time, ever. But this time, it's