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A Spectacular Day

Today was spectacularly beautiful.

I gave the last of my term 2 exams yesterday. With a couple of assignments to go, I am officially done with 20% of my MBA. Time seems to be a blur. I don't know when one day ends and the next one begins.
We are still in the pandemic of COVID and the hours I spend alone in my room with my laptop are copious and probably self-destructive but cannot be helped. The excitement of MBA seems to be dulling, workload increasing along with self-doubt. 
A necessary side-effect of being surrounded by overachievers is being constantly overwhelmed. Initially exciting like a shot of dopamine but over time the effect wears off and it turns out, your strain of dopamine is no longer manufactured.
But not to worry. Excitement is right around the corner, you see. We may be headed to campus soon. I won't say I hope so, because hoping for anything currently is like setting yourself up for heartbreak. When you say it can't get worse, it actually does.
Looks like I am headed in my vortex of thoughts, a dark place to be. Let's get back to the good bits and why I started writing today in the first place - Today IS a spectacular day.
I finished Term 2 yesterday and now barring two assignments, I get full 4 days off. No college, no zoom classes, no prereads, post reads, videos, and other million things that happen daily. Today was the first day in probably the last 6 months when I didn't touch my laptop, at least not until 10 minutes ago when I started writing this post. It was so calming. I can feel my eyes thanking me. If I were writing in my diary, I would talk about how I pranced around my room, listening to music, went out and stared at the pink sky, ate chaat for lunch, got a slice of banana bread with coffee, finished reading a book, and now writing a blog post too. All of these mere, trivial moments, but all together so significant. The pleasure of each moment unshadowed by time, living in the present, and doing exactly as the heart desired. A spectacular day indeed. 

I also tried to keep my interactions with humans to a bare minimum. Sometimes, I feel people need to be alone to try to make sense of all the noise in the head. Canceled plans, unanswered calls, unavailable for just one day. It was silent. It was spectacular.

xx

PS


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