Definitions of sexism as per the dictionary -
1. The belief that people of one sex or gender are inherently superior to people of the other sex or gender.
2.Different treatment or discrimination based on a difference of sex or gender.
3. Disadvantage or unequal opportunity arising from the cultural dominance of one gender over the other.
4. Promotion or expectation or assumption of people to behave in accordance with or deviate from a gender role.
It is no hidden fact that we live in a patriarchal society where men have dominated women for centuries and continue to do so. Changes have come but society in its intricacy remains male dominated. This is not a fight between the genders but a thought process.
Recently bollywood released a movie "Ki and Ka" where ki stands for the woman and ka for the man. The movie portrays a reversal of roles in a household where the husband aspires to be a perfect housewife and the wife aspires to excel in her profession. Their family, friends and society at large admonish them. Husband asking the wife for money and living off her earnings is practically an abnormality, condemned to be worse than a physical disability or mental illness.
The reason, I believe, lies in the way we have been brought up, what we have seen, observed and believed. Anything going against the norm seems an abnormality. The 4th definition comes to effect here having deterrent effects on both genders - trying to limit the females to household chores and forcing the males to be the breadwinner not allowing space for personal aspirations.
The movie shows another aspect which unfolds in real life as well. The one controlling the money has the reins of the family. Since traditionally men were the breadwinners they held the reins. Hence their supremacy over women. Shift the money to women and the control shifts with it.
An interesting incident took place. My mom who saw the movie found it hilarious saying it was time women took control and lived their own lives. She saw the movie as a parallel to her life where she is the housewife and the reversed gender role enthralled her. Towards the end of our conversation she commented that the lead actress Kareena Kapoor who is married did too many PDA scenes.
"She kissed him so many times. Doesn't her husband object? Didn't she feel weird? "
I reminded mom that her husband himself was an actor and if he could do steamy scenes with other actresses, why couldn't she. Moreover it's her job, there's nothing more to it.
I ended with," You just saw the movie mom, apply the principle in real life."
Keep the judgement parameters same for men and women.
To review, the concept of movie was good, it just failed to hit its mark making it a series of stereotypical lectures.
On the topic of sexism, it is so ingrained in our lives that while ridiculing sexism in every form we fail to recognise when innumerable times in a day we act sexist. What we say and assume might be miniscule in the greater scheme of things but sexist nonetheless. Being surprised when a girl can't cook or when she is messy, telling her to compromise in a relationship, assuming that a man has to earn and support his family, be good in sports and watch news on tv and not daily soaps, it all amounts to sexism.
I don't fault you or myself as this is what we have learnt growing up. Believe it or not, sexism is a reality. It is us. The worst part is that we have readily accepted it. Apart from the physical division of role, there is no other role that should be enforced on either gender. Be the change, challenge what you can't accept. It is not too late to keep a check and pave a better, more equal way for the future generations.
Respect equality.
No to sexism.
Peace out
Xoxo
Pearl S.
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