The Gossip Mantra

The dictionary defines gossiping as "conversation or ​reports about other people's ​private​ lives that might be ​unkind, ​disapproving, or not ​true."

For me and most of the population, gossiping is a medium to vent. My friend recently captioned one of our pictures as "When you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, come sit next to us." True indeed. I meet up with my girls and we vent about our studies, troubles, boys, relationships and life in general. A huge part of our lives are made of people and there is no better feeling than to find that you and your friend have a mutual hatred for someone. Hence, starts a long, deep and unsettlingly satisfying bitching session. The best part is your feelings are out without any major standoff.

Whenever I gossip, I tend to ensure that the person I am talking about doesn't get to hear it. In a derogatory sense this is known as back-bitching or back-stabbing and I don't agree with it. It isn't as if I am purposely trying to harm that person, I am just saying what I feel, whether right or wrong. My reason for the person to not hear it is simple - it is going to hurt him/her. I don't have anything nice to say about anybody, so I won't. I have the right to speak my mind and I will. I refer to this as basic social etiquettes. I am not delusional to think that no one would speak ill of me, but I would prefer not knowing what they have to say. Every individual is entitled to his/her own opinion. 

Gossip, earlier deemed as a social evil is anything but. Talking about others is natural, talking about your feelings is encouraged, so talking about your feelings regarding others is necessary. Infact gossiping is said to be of psychological  importance now. 

According to Psychology Today here are the 5 Benefits of Gossiping :

1. It gets out what’s really bugging you.
   Sometimes the urge to gossip isn’t really about the person who is irritating you, but about a situation that’s become untenable. Gossiping can be an opportunity to assess the underlying reason for the situation: Do you feel overworked or under-appreciated? Is it really your coworkers fault? Sometimes asking for changes in the work environment is the real issue.
2. It encourages cooperation.
   Researchers at Stanford University(link is external) found that when people learn about the behavior of others through gossip, they often use this information to align with those deemed cooperative. Those who have behaved selfishly can then be excluded from group activities, based on the prevailing gossip. This serves the group's collective good, since selfish people may exploit more cooperative individuals for their own gain.
3. It relieves stress.
   According to the Stanford study, another benefit of gossip is that it relieves anxiety. In an experiment, researchers found that participants who witnessed someone behaving badly experienced stress and an increase in heart rate. Warning others about what they saw, however, lessened the effect.
4. It fosters self-improvement.
   All gossip doesn’t have to be negative. Researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands found that hearing good stories about others provided motivation for self-improvement; even when the gossip is negative, there is often a positive outcome for those being “targeted.” The study(link is external), published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that when people know others may gossip about them, they are more likely to learn from a bad experience and reform their behavior by cooperating more in future group settings.
5. It provides a reality check.
   Not that I'm advocating gossip, but there's nothing wrong with getting a reality check. “If you want to know whether someone else is having a similar experience, you can simply ask in a non-accusatory manner whether anyone else has experienced the same phenomenon,” says clinical psychologist Andrea Andrzejczak of Grosse Pointe, Michigan. "That way," she says, "You’re not actually dissing the person, you’re simply inquiring."

Yeah, yeah, I know. My motives for gossiping aren't this noble and neither are anyone else's for that matter but it does have its pros and being optimistic I would like to think of my mindless chats helping the society. You have to admit it relieves stress.

My friends and I have what we call "Gossip Sessions" where we diss anyone and everyone. We call them names, talk in length about what we hate about them and it helps, makes us less socially awkward. Usually our rants are about people who aren't very nice or who like to make others miserable, bullies is what you call them. This is especially for those who think they are better than others. It feels good saying out aloud what you think of them and have others share the same opinion. People who comment on others appearances' and their misfortunes, they are the ones I love bitching about. They think they have the right to call someone a fat cow or chicken legs or flat-chested or whatever, to those ignorant fools - Look in the mirror once, you won't like what you see. Having a pig face and then being racist and calling someone dark, does not sit well with me. I won't outright call a person names to their face because in the few years on this planet I have been taught mannerisms and acceptable social behaviour. Hurting someone is never the aim and gossiping ensures that you don't hurt other people. Your opinions are limited to your exclusive group of friends. You feel better, other person never knows. It's all happy in the GOSSIP LAND.

"It is not talking, it's gossiping."

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XOXO

Pearl

peace out